Forwarded message: >From vanhoose Sat Oct 16 18:58:06 1993 Date: Sat, 16 Oct 93 18:58:06 -0400 From: Todd E. Van Hoosear <vanhoose> To: todd Subject: S**t HappensDate: Fri, 30 Apr 93 15:15:28 -0400 From: Todd E. Van Hoosear <todd> To: todd Subject: S**t Happens List
Enjoy, and accept my apologies and standard disclaimers if you are offended...
Shit Happens in various world religions Compiled by James Harrison@cs.ubc.ca
Taoism: Shit happens, but try not to step on it. Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. Hinduism: This shit has happened before. Protestantism: If shit happens, it happens to someone else. Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it. Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us? Confucianism: Confucius says: ``If shit has to happen, let it happen properly.'' Islam: Shit happening is Allah's Will. Existentialism: Shit happening is absurd! Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? New Age: A firm shit does not happen to me. Atheist: I don't believe this shit. Voodoo: Shit doesn't just happen--somebody made it happen to you. Rastafarianism: let's smoke this shit Televangelism: Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening. Jehovah's Witness: There is only a limited amount of good shit. Mormon: Hey, let's spread this shit around! Baptist: You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for it. Unitarianism: Go ahead, shit anywhere you want. Iraqi Baathist: Oh, shit! Heisenbergism: Shit happened, we just don't know where. Nixonism: Shit didn't happen, and if it did I didn't know anything about it. McCarthyism: Are you now, or have you ever been, shit? Communism: It's everybody's shit. Capitalism: Shit happens, and it'll cost you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - The Dual Lives of Todd E. Van Hoosear - ``''' (._.) Graduate Assistant, | Graduate Student, (_) Hypermedia and Instructional | Department of Communication, `---' Computing Support Services, | Michigan State University MSU Computer Laboratory | East Lansing, MI 48825
Internet ID: 13501tev@msu.edu NeXT Mail: todd@cl-next4.cl.msu.edu BITnet ID: 13501tev@msu.bitnet MUD Mail: like I have time anymore! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~PLEASE DON'T SUE ME STATEMENT!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As a measly Graduate Student, of course my views do not necessarily reflect those of Michigan State University or the Computer Laboratory. ~~~~~~~~~BLATENT POLITICAL STATEMENT (REQ'D OF SIGNATURE FILES?)~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Democrats are also the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller and get the chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and prove it." (from "Parliament of Whores" - P.J. O'Rourke, 1991) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~