Capitalist Hell vs Communist Hell

From: Todd E Van Hoosear (vanhoose@manetheren.cl.msu.edu)
Date: 10/10/03

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    Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns
    From: Henry_Cate_III
    Keywords: rec.humor, funny, originally appeared in first quarter, 1988
    Date: Mon, 14 Jul 2003 7:20:00 PDT
    
    
    A political activist named Dave was just arriving in Hell, and was told
    he had a choice to make.  He could go to Capitalist Hell or to
    Communist Hell.
    
    Naturally, Dave wanted to compare the two, so he wandered over to
    Capitalist Hell.  There outside the door was Rockerfeller, looking
    bored.  "What's it like in there?"  asked Dave.  "Well," he replied ,
    "In Capitalist Hell, they flay you alive, boil you in oil, chain you to
    a rock and let a vulture tear your liver out, and cut you up into small
    pieces with sharp knives."
    
    "That's terrible!!"  gasped Dave.  "I'm going to check out Communist
    Hell!"  He went over to Communist Hell, where he discovered a huge line
    of people waiting to get in; the line circled around the lobby seven
    times before receding off into the horizon.  Dave pushed his way
    through to the head of the line, where he found Karl Marx busily
    signing people in.  Dave asked Karl what Communist Hell was like.
    
    "In Communist Hell," said Marx impatiently, "they flay you alive, boil
    you in oil, chain you to a rock and let vultures tear out your liver,
    and cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."
    
    "But ...  but that's the same as Capitalist Hell!"  protested Dave.
    
    "True," sighed Marx, "but sometimes we don't have oil, sometimes we
    don't have knives ..."
    
    --
    
    Henry Cate III
    
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